Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
