his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
two words...techno handjob
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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