Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
