I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
