I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
