Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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