It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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