if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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