I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Still dying that you shit outside
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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