Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
