Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I think I am morally bankrupt
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
