You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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