I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize