I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
