i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
