Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
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I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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