I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
