I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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