I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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