also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Iβd feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests π
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize