Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
