Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
