he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I woke up under a house in Key West
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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