filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
