Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize