well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
