I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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