Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
