dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
