WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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