Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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