Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
