are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
