bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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