is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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