I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize