we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
