i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
