she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
