Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
