she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
