You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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