Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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