You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
