Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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