I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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