where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
