And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
All the doctor said was why
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
