Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
