My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
