oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
