no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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