then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
