I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
