Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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