whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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