Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
