went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
