I bet he comes in French.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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