Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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