Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
