I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
