Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So much rum. So many feels.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
