hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
