Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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