Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
