If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
