my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
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Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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