I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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