It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You dont lie about slip and slides
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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